Five Tips For Professionally Declining Business Requests

Photo by Keren Levand on Unsplash

After interviewing thousands of candidates in my decade-long recruiting career, I will say I have mastered the art of polite rejection.

I wasn’t the hiring manager who leaned on the easily and commonly used, “It was so great to meet you, we’ll reach out if we think it makes sense to move you forward,” and then never taking the time to follow up with the candidate.

Instead, I would actually reject candidates to their faces.

I know, I know, you are probably picking your jaw off the floor right now, but bear with me for a second.

If I was interviewing a high-quality candidate who wasn’t the right fit for the role they were interviewing for, why would I want to lead them to believe that they were going to get a call back from me?

Instead of taking the easy route, I would challenge myself to take the most mature and helpful route for them.

Yep: good old-fashioned honesty was my name of the game.

You might be wondering, how would these conversations end? Would the individuals be upset? Disagreeing with me? In tears?

Nope. 9/10 times, the conversations would go great. And we would part ways amicably.

Before I share what this conversation looked like, I just want you to know that you can have this same experience when you reject undesirable client projects.

Not only will they thank you, but if done right, they actually will end up referring ideal business your way.

Here are five steps to politely declining business requests without feeling like a total jerk.

1. Get clear on why you want to decline the request.

Commonly business owners get so worked up by the thought of declining someone that they don’t take the time to explore what it is about the request that makes them uninterested. However, gaining clarity on what makes them uninterested is often where the most straightforward responses lie.

Ask yourself, what is it about this request that makes you want to decline it?

• Is it that the budget isn’t high enough?
• Is the location of the project a nightmare for you to get to?
• Is the timeline of the project too lengthy?
• Do you not like the energy or attitude of the prospective client?
• Is the prospective client a family member, and the last time you worked with a family member, it was an excruciating experience for all?

Getting clear on what is missing from the business request often points you in the direction of making changes.

Once you have labeled your reason why, use it to set a new standard for your business.

2. Define your minimum viable client and boundaries

The questions listed in step one will help pinpoint who your minimum viable client is and the boundaries you need to set.

When you define who your minimum client is, it becomes crystal clear who meets these criteria and who doesn’t.

Think about it like dating.

You likely have some standards in place before you choose to go out with someone.

These standards may look like having a good job, finding them attractive, being a non-smoker, an anti-racist, having a love for dogs, and living in a nearby city.

All of these are understandable and reasonable baseline standards to have in place before agreeing to go on a date with someone, so why can’t we enter a professional relationship by setting similar standards?

Here are questions to ask yourself to set your standards, and a few examples that should help you, too:

Which projects have I enjoyed working on the least? Or which clients do I enjoy working with the least?

• “Working on projects with family members.”
• “Decluttering attics and crawl spaces.”
• “Nannying for more than two children at a time.”
• “Photographing a wedding as a sole photographer.”

Why didn’t I enjoy these?

• “I felt totally taken advantage of, worked around the clock, and it made it awkward at family parties. I also gave a discount which made it even worse.”
• “They are usually a complete mess, disgusting to work in, sometimes even dangerous to work in, and I have a total fear of spiders.”
• “It is a lot of work to take care of three kids at once, and I am not paid enough to do so.”
• “I couldn’t give my best work, and I didn’t feel great sending over the final images knowing they could have been so much stronger if they paid for a second shooter.”

Set new boundaries or expectations.

• “I am no longer taking on family members as clients.”
• “I do not do any work in crawl spaces or attics.”
• “I now charge an additional $20/hour for more than 2 kids. If they are willing to pay that, then I am willing to do it.”
• “I am only taking on clients who will have the budget for two photographers.”

Taking the time to do this uncomfortable but crucial step will make refusing business so much easier. When you clearly know who you don’t work with, and have a reason for it, you begin to recognize your value and feel appreciated and energized in the work you do take on.

3. Begin placing your minimums on your marketing

A great way to begin communicating client minimums is to add them to your website, your intake forms, and your content.

Intake forms are the questions that accompany the appointment. They can serve as a fantastic qualifier for if a client is an ideal prospect or not and help give them insight about what you specialize in, too.

For example, if you are an interior designer, you should add your minimums on your intake forms.

A question such as, “I have a new client minimum of a $25,000 design budget. Could you explain in detail, to the best of your ability, what you’re looking for?”

This short statement allows your client to know upfront who you work with and who you do not. If they don’t meet the minimums, it’s an easy conversation for you to have.

Another way to communicate who you work with is through content.

If you haven’t created a piece of content yet declaring your minimums or non-negotiables, this could be a great time to put them out there (and encourage others in your industry to do the same!)

Creating an FAQ page could be a great start on your website, as it is a simple place to add your minimums and non-negotiables in a Q&A format.

Another way to do this is to tailor your marketing to your ideal clients so that non-ideal clients see your marketing and think, “hmm… I don’t know if they work with someone like me.”

For example, if I was looking for a designer for my little 1-bedroom condo and went to an interior designer’s website of single-family homes, I would expect that I am not their ideal or traditional client.

It may feel a little funny to turn away prospects, but you are supposed to for your own sanity.

If you took everyone on as a client, you would lose your mind trying to be everything for everybody.

PS if you aren’t using an e-scheduler yet with an intake form, you are missing out! I use Squarespace Scheduling (formerly Acuity) and I love it.

4. Position yourself correctly to your referral sources

Nothing is more flustering than when your best client refers a non-ideal client your way. How do you maintain the relationship and decline their introduction?

While these waters have to be trodden carefully, it can definitely happen.

First, accept that 9/10 times it is your fault that you obtained a non-ideal prospect. This often happens because you don’t position yourself in front of your current clients well enough to understand who you work with and who you don’t.

So what do you do to get on the same page? You circle back with them and reposition yourself.

If that sounds horrifying to you, then once again, think about it like dating.

If a friend was introducing you to a scrub (you know, a guy who’s sitting on the passenger side of his best friend’s ride), wouldn’t you say something?

I certainly hope you would! Apply this same principle.

If there’s enough of a relationship there to maintain, your best bet is to reach out to your client.

Take 5 minutes — just 5 minutes — to hop on a call and reposition yourself.

Thank them for the introduction, let them know that unfortunately it isn’t going to work out, and then share who you work best with and why.

They’ll likely say, “Oh, that is so helpful and makes so much sense!”

And then guess what happens? You start getting outstanding referrals.

Funny how that works, right?!

5. Be consistent

I talked about this in a recent Instagram live, but consistency is critical in SO many things, including the minimums you set in place for your clients.

If you set an expectation to be referred to a certain kind of prospect, you cannot continue to receive referrals to that kind of prospect and take them on without repercussion.

Here are two examples that illustrate this point:

You’re an interior designer, and you set a design project minimum of $20,000 for new clients. You begin communicating this to your clients and prospects.

• Scenario 1: A client comes your way who you really like, and their budget and project is roughly ~10K. You really like them, though, so you decide to take it on. Shortly into working with them, they refer you to a friend of theirs with the same budget, who you don’t like as much. Now what?
• Scenario 2: A current ideal client who has a 75K design project with you refers their friend to you who has a 15K design budget. You politely let them know that your minimums are 20K. Your client appreciates this information and then refers their niece to you, who has a 15K design budget. You take them on. Your current ideal client then refers three more people your way with 15K budgets and wonders why you didn’t work with their friend. Now what?

Consistency is key. It’s a part of the brand you are building. Who you work with, what you do, it’s all established inconsistency.

Establish your minimums, boundaries, and expectations, and then remain firm and consistent in them.

Remember what I said in my live video?

Pleasing everyone pleases no one. Remember that.

You being consistent makes you a better, happier, more enjoyable person.

And ideal clients will enjoy working with that person.

Bonus tip: Raise your rates

I have one last bonus tip that you may or may not want to opt into…

Raise your rates.

Remember the babysitting example I used above? If you are a nanny and take care of 2 kids for $20/hour, and a family with three kids comes your way (way more work), ask yourself if the rates were higher, would it be a project you would want to take on?

If that answer is yes, then decide on a dollar amount and implement that as a part of your contract.

Even if it’s double your current rate and feels outrageous, “no one could possibly buy into a $40/hour nanny for three kids!” If the price you’re asking for is the amount of money it would take for you to enjoy your job, then go for it.

The client has every right to decline and let you know if it’s out of budget.

But if you land a nannying gig for $40/hour to take care of 3 kids, and that’s exciting to you? Then why the heck not!

If the mere thought of raising your rates and your non-ideal client opting in makes you want to cringe, then don’t even think about it.

Only consider it if energetically a higher fee would have you looking forward to working with them. So you make that choice.

So there you have it! Six tips for declining undesirable clients without looking like a total jerk.

To support you in enforcing your new boundaries and client minimums, I created phone scripts and email templates for you to download.

You can download them by clicking here. If you are looking for any other advice or resources, don’t hesitate to message me on Instagram @jeannieandresen_ as I would love to help.